S.L.e.E.P

Lately im having such sleeping disorder :( well..had that once last time back in my study years...and when i jump into career world guess i pretty fine. work load is just another thing i gotta co-op with ...so no biggie bout that. and of course few days i've been working late nite. I dont know why our of sudden ideas comes a lot at nite and i gotta stay doing my kinda proposal for my big client such as MOHE, MOE and of course the new one MITC. And the dateline is soOOoOo soon obviously! being in media and servicing line i can say all we need is SPEED. and thats kinda values which i guess mainly all my clients looking at!~

Seriously, half of my brain is consume wt work load and ideas, another half cramp with problems and lil bit of plans here and there. I seldom getting weird dreams and not even a good ones. Cos maybe my mind is always functional with high-speed while im awake and when i sleep..its like totally shut down. Unless there is certain things i didn't let it go and it stay on my mind for pretty long time..that's the course of me having sleeping disorder. And somehow it os true that brain and heart i just 2 organs that really connected to one another. It really does...i mean i experienced almost every time and worst thing is i Experienced the impact of terlalu makan hati and always keep the problem beneath my heart and end up having virus in my brain. oh~ poor thang. Sumpah...i'm scared when ever thinking of it and ya......i think it slightly going to happen.

hmmm..this is my story in a really bz week. And its all about work and mixed up feelings somehow i couldn't remember which part of my brain is actually handling the action that i take. I know that we have a segment in out brain which actually do certain things without ourselves construct to do so. I think the part called sereberum~ my doctor said bout that part  but for sure i know my doctor said that amazingly i can actually control that kinda part which somehow pressure my brain a lil bit too much. *Pelik* klo dalam tido pon i always thinking im actually working on something...and this is totally not good!

and it just happen~ dah la kurang tido for few days..day time i've been presenting and do consultation on my kinda proposal to my clients on a very strategic media demand. Hell yeah...its a really tough things to handle while u were like half sober. feels like my body is awake but my mind is half sleep. And today i SUCKS BIG TIME! gosh~ i never said to myself ..but ...i really am...just for today. OK...here is the deal i did with my panel media events. My client briefed me on their event gimmick and such..and i'm the one who actaully need to come out on ideas gimmick suit with their event which gonna attend by PM and some other high profile people...bla bla bla...


it was plan last week to meet up by 2day and present the whole freaking ideas. Been texting and email with my panel over the weekend just to notify on latest updates. here come the cliche part....to my surprise i got a fon called from my panel said he wanna meet me proposal 2moro and bley tanya bile nk present to client?? i'm like whattt?? its freaking me out at that particular moment. and i know i can handle this...i said to him..it supposed to be another 1hour time....i'm here edy in putrajaya..i gotta settle my things 1st with MOHE stuffs then i will me the media panel and present it together. and i asked him that he doesn't read email ke??or my sms? and all he replied i didn't stated that today is the DATELINE!!

WHATTT??? to my surprised.....i check back all messages and email...and there is non that i tot i send it to the panel. and i'm stunt! Ya Allah....Astagfirullallahalzim...whats going on here?? oh God~ serious..i dont understand...i'm not talking about a day nyer text here...i'm talking about over the weekend things that i tot i did and send out to him. Nausubillah~ mmg x der lansung..and i dont really understand how can it possibly be. and i stopped my car.........nothing on my mind....nervous....panic....Stunt....buntu!

and so i prayed for a short while....open my eyes i look at my watch..anothe 30mins to meet the Pengarah~ all i know is....i sucks BIG tIME! i'm dead! i calm myself down....listen to a balinese songs on my iPod~ phewww....that particular moment i dont even look back what i search and think is the solution. Should i just meet my client and face it or create excuses?? for the 1st time in my life aku buntu.....

then on my way back i called my personal doctor.... i cry to her teelling i dont understand...and all she said is..

'my dear, u been pushing it to the limits of any human can do...less trouble yaself. remember i said to you, working hard doesn't give u eternal happiness. You hv smart mind and good heart...please do take care of yourself. your mom and siblings really loves u..u know...'..

aww Doctor~ i feel like really need a big hug to calm me down. and tears started falling down my cheek~ automatically the images and memories comes on my mind...the hard time i gotta bangkit blk and face the world...i have to wake up my mind after 3 weeks of sleeping......Ya Allah....penat nyer~ in every of my pray i will always pray to protect the 2 powerful organ in me...and for me to be strong.