Die or Live??

At this particular time..if i were to chose between die and live..i chose DIE!! yes DIE! Let me feel da happiness in another world..let me be near my Abah~ :( how i wish for him to be next to me when everything seems so down and depressing. The guidance and touch from a father is truly that i miss~

Am i so cruel for me to have this kinda life? Or am i to fragile and people take advantage on me? Ya Allah~ y is so hard for me to face life nowdays....people tend to miss understand on what im trying to do...i cant do much bout it as i always pray to Allah to give more hidayah and good guidance to me and others. still......praying for God to send someone that are meant to be with. im a lil bit to tired to face typical process of knowing people....im just tired...

if i'M that bad...why are we still together? y always i gotta hide my feelings when things doesn't going so well? And the most thing...y people keep on judging us? If only we are in a same minded, things will work out pretty well....gimme chance to create more understanding path in me...gimme the whole picture on what u think...insyallah i will understand.

too many stories i heard randomly...and still alhamdulillah im standing strong. one fine day, with all the strenght and guts from Allah i will speak to all what beneath my heart. nothing more i look out in a guy nowdays except a true guidance to be dedicated wife and we bow in a same direction. generally....i've come to a stage where i've found myself....and now i think is a time to find someone as a whole to complete my happy ever after puzzle. that lil puzzle is still somewhere in the air ~ i know....i truly understand that hidayah is the one we should seek for and jodoh the next best surprise to every human in this world. i shall no worry bout that.....as long as i found a person that are meant to be my husband...i wil accept it with an open arms.

at the age i'm pretty sure im looking for a real responsibility...been a daughter, a sister and an aunt....yet still preparing myself for more responsibility....a wife and a mother perhaps~ 2moro im officially 27 yrs old.....and im still crying alone indeed. my wish doesnt    heard yet but i shall keep on wishing and believing.....