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Monday, September 19, 2011

a sincere note that come within my heart...

Dear Amal,

Assalamulaikum...

Firstly i would like to seek for apology if this kinda note somehow bothering you so much. Sorry for the thousand times.. I x sure kalu this email lead us to somewhere beyond our happiness or it will totally put a fullstop between both of us. I just don’t know... you are rite and i agreed with you that i think for about a year dah we been spending time together..all the laughter, quarrel and sometimes a lil fight here and there not forgetting a ‘silent moment’ and a ‘break up’. Yes...we both been facing it those things together. Thus, by right we both should have agree or noted in a sense of mutual understanding. Guess what, look at the bigger picture...we are just one year and if we were to be together, this will happen in getting ourselves to a level of happiness being as ONE~ i still and always have the feeling of what had happen somehow return with a rainbow to me and hope that rainbow can be shine on your life as well. I know you always said that i’m way toooo positive minded...if u happen to see or to discover...that is y u were there to make it me natural.

I’ve been thinking all nite long, We shouldn't identify each other mistakes nut to come out with solutions instead.. rather than addressing our flaws~ because i believes if we are in a relationship with someone we truly love, the moment when we see the potential of love between us..That is the moments when kite ley accept each other positive and negative ways of lives.....don’t u think so? To myself, i pernah spend time with you bkn semata-mata i nak rasa happy keluar berdua2, being wt u for a day..travel wt u..its always beyond that...When the time i spend with u..i nak get into yalife..nak tau u camne...cara u re-act with people ..wt surrounding, timing u makan and minum, how u deal with ya works and the most is how much u appreciate being wt me...or the other way round. I observed benda tu smua...and think wisely on most things between us.....like u said..u wouldn’t bother if i’m not someone to u.. its da same with me..i would’t bother to spend my time wt you if i rasa u just a waste of my time..in fact i always make time for u if u only knew la.......

Looks like u made an optional point on our chat last nite saying if i can’t follow u, i should LEAVE you...........how could i possibly do that??unless when i see the signs and everything starts to change....u become heartless towards me...less communications....less our lovey bubbly chat...less attention..less caring...less and everything less.......that is the moment i’m highly weak & couldn’t do much..I redha~ with God wills..insyAllah i’m strong to face it~ I believes Allah just merely cleaning the path for something better between us...

If you are ready to talk, like i said....take me to the point of your understanding..insyAllah i can manage. Meanwhile..let us both think what is the best next step. You take care and have a safe journey wt family to Singapore.

Your one truly love,
Linda

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I emailed this letter to him after we had quite a massive misunderstanding between us. As usual la, no couples doesn't escape from quarrel and stuffs. But bottom line is..one of us just have to know how to control all the bad emotions that runs through their vain! I spent my day the next day by myself...went out to Chawan,Bangsar brought along an inspirational book ordered a hot jasmine tea and enjoy my truthful moment. Guess what, the feeling of what my other half is doing will always there..seriously i couldn't dent it...is there in me and uhh...i just donno what to do......then i text Dura if she wanna come over and hang round wt me..maybe i just need to talk to someone who i can trust at that particular time(knowing that i barelt trust people except my arwah shakira)~

he doesn't text me...but i'm still keep on looking at my BB. calls ringing..bbm and sms all coming in but not from him....then i decided to put on silent mode and started reading the book- 'corporate Sufi'. At the time i least expected...when i'm put down a call from Dura, his bbm msg suddenly appeared. huhu.....B I N G G O! we both cant just ignore each other that long i guess...not to me...nor to him........maybe my letter open up his heart in some ways..cos knowing him...he never buys any sweet talks AT ALL! Alhamdulillah...everything seems back to normal...and my feelings towards him somehow develop even more.....hopefully he feel the same..ahaks!~

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Raya 2011

Its been a while i didn't happen to write down on my life journal. Gosh! such a hectic schedules i have right now. Ever since i lost my gooooood friend, arwah Shakirah Hani, i try to put back my focus on a normal daily life circle. We both are too attached bout few months before Allah took her from her family and her closest friend. It took me for awhile..bout 2 3 weeks to adjust things back to normal as normal as it is before. And yeah..time to express my words and feelings thro this lil e-note book of mine~ My Ramadhan Alhamdulillah i filled it with such a well manner behavior where i welcome almost everything goods to me. Alhamdulillah.

Raya comes with peace to me and i can feel the whole lots different this very year. Perhaps, i gotta celebrate raya with a lil more joy knowing there is someone i love indeed who is my own Boyfriend. such awkward things to find that i've changed slowly to someone good...i mean...not to say that i'm a bad person..somehow there a bad behavior/characters in me slowly fade away. and i donno how does it happen..its shows that THE LOVE FACTOR really works now for me. hmm....Alhamdulillah...for that. My prayers slowly been answered by Allah swt.

Person who are really important and will be there for me at the most everything that i do in this entire world...




Straight face guy- but i Love him.....hee..