Wednesday, July 14, 2010

How can i be so stupid!

OMG! for the 1st time i realized that I'm stupid! stupid cos i've been fooled by creature name 'GUY'! how could it be? how does it starts? Now i know whats the meaning of Lust instead of Love! And for thing i never ever stop of being thankful to God for make me see and realized what i've been through. At one point finally i can think straight and make my decision sharply! I'm truely happy and feel like a complete freedom in myself...Alhamdulillah...Alhamdulillah..Alhamddulillah..........

Ya Allah...thanks for make me realized what i'm not supposed to face it. I just gotta loose a person who i claimed to be someone special in my life. The fact that very someone dont even deserve a place to be in my heart nor in my life. I know how to value myself and i dont wanna be like some another jerks that you used to manupulate them. Aren't guys supposed to treat and love women with full respect as women is a creature that created by God where they have a high rank beside God.What happen to the respect and love? I had a reason and answer to myself for what happen to me till i really eager to write this particular notes!

For real, this is just something that out of my mind..i never think that i will face such a traumatic phase of life. I'm pratically scared to fall in love back....fall to a wrong person where i always did. After all, life is like gambling our luck but yeah..still we are human, never failed in taking any risk in our life! I hate to say that I Hate someone so much..but what if the person make me said it. Guess what?? i deleted him entirely from my if me and him doesn't know each other. I barely do such things...but he just over the limits and i couldn't consider it something that can be tolerate about! to mention his name also its just disgust me........How foolish can i be when it comes to guys? as far as i'm concern, i always put both my feet on ground, keep believes in myself everything gonna be great for me but yeah..REALITY CHECK! things never ever gonna be PERFECT as we want it to be....God always have a better roote for the one He thinks deserve it. For that i always believes God has His special plan cater to me....and so with him...

Goodbye my Lust! I'm taking back my life to a starting point back the basic here i come......

Thursday, July 8, 2010

My Self.....

Lately i've been slightly down upon whats happening in my life. Mainly its all about relationship, friendship and myself. How well i always said that i know exactl what i want in this world but to honest i dont know a thing actgually. It seems i had the things what i want so far...but still i feel the emptyness inside me..its like a puzzle that i'm still searching for the piece to conclude everything and that one lil piece of puzzle went missing.....what was that? its like answer a question with out me knowing the question is....So, i came across this motivational Poem by Edgar A. Guest.. The words he used gave me some picture to reflect upon what kind of answers i search for myself. It helps me more or less i can say......Guess the One lil puzzle is L.O.V.E... Love my the friendship and love as much as i could give for me to get the ONE EVER LASTING LOVE to myself.
A Motivational Poem
Poet: Edgar A. Guest

I have to live with myself and so
I want to be fit for myself to know.

I want to be able as days go by,
always to look myself straight in the eye;

I don't want to stand with the setting sun
and hate myself for the things I have done.

I don't want to keep on a closet shelf
a lot of secrets about myself

and fool myself as I come and go
into thinking no one else will ever know

the kind of person I really am,
I don't want to dress up myself in sham.

I want to go out with my head erect
I want to deserve all men's respect;

but here in the struggle for fame and wealth
I want to be able to like myself.

I don't want to look at myself and know that
I am bluster and bluff and empty show.

I never can hide myself from me;
I see what others may never see;

I know what others may never know,
I never can fool myself and so,

whatever happens I want to be
self respecting and conscience free.