Thursday, October 29, 2009

You is You...I am ME!

I am Me. In all parts of the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it . I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.

By doing so, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. How I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is an authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am good about my self.

So my dear friends... Love Yourself First then start to spread some to others ;) hugs!~

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

SIngapore again with mom..

Just got back from Singapore with my mom. I spend the whole weekend at Nannyta's crib! Just me and mom flew to Singapore...guess its the only suitable time i can spend my time with mom. Most of my weekends i always spend it with friends..:) My mom had some agenda over @ Singapore that i dont really know...until i got there. Knowing my another family who lives in Singapore was a real Drama! I donno that i born in such a BIG FAMILY!! talked to my mom that i dont even know mainly all of them...haha. My mom said that because u dont wanna know get involves in anything about family matters...i stayed silent and just gave her a BIG whatever kind of SMILE! LoL...

The best part was...i dont even know i have a second cousin that look alike as my EX-BOYFRIEND!! mY god!! He's CUTE!!!! and have a sweet smile! God such a giver......hehe and yeah...God knows what inside my heart^_^ and so there we were starting to know wach other.....being there make me realised that i still have a ROOM for LOVE in scared. Scared to face it, scared of broken again......the healing part is much more scarrier! I put this sign (,) in my love diaries..meaning gimme a break...get to a correct starting point again. end the last journal i was in....i woouldn't wanna draw a new love stories in myself.....i'll wait till the correct time and lights of love say so......I dont find any sparked with the one i just met....maybe cos we are cousin(not a close cousin)...or maybe i'm the one who not letting go whats in the passed..even though i said i did....

And we had our own day out together..showing me the best place to hang out and get to know each other. Damn! waiting for that 'spark' but there wasn't any....Ok ok! understood! I've to keep an eyes on him for now...and put it as..whats my fav quote.....hmm....oh ya..'Klo ada jodoh...adalah....' hehe.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

my most sickening weekend!

As i lay back at home through out the most sickness weekend i ever had somehow i realised that sometimes in the worst struggles, I find my greatest strength. Been sick through out the week and knowing myself, when ever i fall sick..its like my world durn upside down. I dont want to meet people and i choose to stay alone in my bed room. there goes my weekend...lying down all alone..My friends did came over to cheer me up...took me out to went for karaoke..It was fun but mind and heart wasn't 100% just a thing what i called UNLIKE myself. I used to be the MOST hyper ones everytime we go for a karaoke session..the one who will jump up and down..the mic will always be in my hand...and always with my 'PSYCHO DIVA' behavior.haha..well...that nite i turn down a bit...but still i can denied i had fun,thou. Of course i did..cos my closest friends are there...Dura, Reena, Ai, DD and Azry=) Supposedly i planned to have my weekend at terengganu together with shara and wani but i cancelled last minute cos seriously i'm on HIGH FEVER! In fact till now......damn! I hate to cancelled what i have planned...;( And of course i always have back up plans over the weekend..but still couldn't make it. I've quite a nums of open house to attend but at the end i refused to go. So here i am stucked in my own house lying down..take medicines and sleep......