Monday, December 28, 2009
ok..back to my Question agian....do love need a sign from both party? what kind of signs? I always the one not GOOD at reading sign when it comes about feelings.hehe.. i can be super BLUR actually. for me love always happen in the center of my realiazation. This i answer that very question if to think that i'm fallin for someone....
When i fall in love with another person, i tend to get happier than i always do and lighthearted. I'm excited about life, and have this burning desire in me to be with that very someone as often as possible..this include always want to talk on the phone with him in every seconds of my life.(i know it sounds so cliche). the fact that i wanna be close with him and laugh with him as well...if happen we are really click together and there are lots of stories to tell and things to argue about..knowing myself..it always have arguement between me and my partner where i found it really an interesting thing to happen in relationship. well atleast it will spice up our day.heee. And of course i did that in purpose just to make that someone happy..to make him whenever he thinks of me it will creat a smile even in his sleep.lol. Of course when he's happy thats the moment of BLESSED to me...its goona make my life even HAPPIER and blissful. As time goes on , if it is a true love( i always wish for it everytime)..i want to spend and share my life with that very someone as much as i can give.
So, do u think i'm fallin in love right now...?? I should ask myself then. This guy is somewhere in my heart that i just donno whether its real or not....confussion is part of fallin in love i guess.haha...will c whats gonna happen next. To be continue.....:)
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Yesterday was a FUN day for mee!!!! wa grak gi ROTW 9 kat bukit jalil sbb nak tgk my lovely girlfwen perform..si Ainul Aishah!! Minah sorank ni la satu2 nyer kwn aku yg sememangnyer di lahirkan tuk berkwn ngan aku ..sbb seriously she's one crazy girl! cos of that i love heer. nak jd kan cite plak...Ain bwk ROCKSTAR berambut purple... si Iznie!! mula nyer kennal Iznie ni thro ain je...pernah la chat ngan dia kat YM..and happen that we comment on FB! so...my friendship with iznie started in FB the aiin bwk dia watched my performance that day! so...kenla la in real world minah ni! serious...we end up with a PERFECT 3!! serious bley thn gak la gile2 dia ni..sesuai sgt and obviously we speak the same language..senang la nak handle. So..here we are rocking @ ROTW 9!!! memang best...tersgt la best...kat sana wa jumpe gak Ex wa...sape lagi klo bkn DJ SHAC ADELLIC tu! since broke serious x pernah jumpe..about 6 7 months gak la..but we always update ourselves throu SMS/FB/email...smua bend la klo bley...he's like my close fwen but rasa cam pelik la plak if nak bgtau and update smua kan..sbb ntah la..he just there and there...thats it! and of course deep inside i always missed him..god knows how much i did...;( eceh! nak sedey plak...but after all....dgn cara x sengaja..jeng jeng jeng....terserempak la plak ngan dia kat VIP TENT!!! and i didn't even mention to him that i'll be going to ROTW!haha....seriously klo dpt captured muke dia time tu.........mmg bley menang picture terbaik la!!! he was so shocked ..(^$^%&^#@!##!! cam nampak antu la plak kan...i as wondering ape aku x pakai bj ke sampai dia buat muke cam tu? hahahhaa. rupe nyer dia x sangka i attended that event! like duhhhh.....told him cos ainul is performing kot...and there goes lil chat with him...seriously..kind of weird la the feelings i went thro..i missed all words yg nak ckp ngan dia....hmmmm... Rindu sgt ni! ^_^ he always be da same shac i used to know...Slimmmm je..hahaha=) and there he intto me once again ngan Nazri boss ERA! He knew me with shac last time..but i guess he also knew that its over between us=) and then...i lost him...
ok! next tgk ain nyer performance!! perhh....dia punya excited naik Stage ok! tp cam tersipu2 malu..nyampah aku! haha. yg si iznie tetiba plak terasa nak mkn burger..so me and iznie gi la burger ramli dia to think that ain will perform another 15mins. ni smua kerna ally bg info salah!damn it! tengah2 tunggu burger...announce that ain will be performing..sebaik kedai burget tu x jauh mana arr.....aku rampas camera dr iznie ngan payong,neg ain and iznie smua la aku pegang lari ke depan stage....'coming thro' , coming thro, coming thro!!! hahhaha.....akhir nyer settle down rite infront! izni still tunggu burger dia....after few mins starts..iznie br muncul sebelah aku blk! hahhaa..klakar weii....but seriously sgt suke that moment! ain as really good on stage! i proud of her...she has a very nice voice that can melt everyone.......cuma sound system kat situ x der la bagus mana..ain nyer suara pon x dgr sgt..ain perform only 1 song butit was SUPERB!! satu je la x best...sbb UJAN!!! abis lari2 smua baju basah2....38% wet ok!tu pon sbb we all berjaya curi payong sape ntah..haha.
then we all lari to INDIE STAGE! cos promised aliff that i'LL watch his band perform! dah la hengat sama time ngan ain..sebaik dorank nyer delayed skit! wheee.... i'm so IMPRESSED ok tgk CCH PERFORM! their CROWD nowdays getting bigger and bigger!! They stared a year ago and now they all making it BIG!! sonok nyerr tgk dorank..i envy the efforts and the fun they all put 2gether in making CCH a big thing now in Indie scenes....way to go boys!!!i used to be with aliff back in Uni those days....and i even took CCH photos b4 they all famous and go for music scenes. They all really looks good on that freaking STAGE!!! the crowd went really wild that make us 3 blah dr tengah2 bwh stage tu...ader x pasal we all girls kena blasah kang...hehehe. so..i met Aliff after show..have a lil chit chat updating bout each others and i told him that they really ROCKS MY WORLD!! haha...
wa blah awal sbb................think i better save the stories for myself...not ready to tell here in my blog..cos its gonna be a big long thing to tell now....and i wanna peeeeeee rite now...gosh!!
Thursday, December 17, 2009
There are so many congrats wishes to me that nite and all i gave back was THANK YOU SO MUCH and a smile to all that had supported me all this while...felt that i'm winning an oscar or something..but yeah....it some sort like that kind of feeling,thou.haha. The most memorable wishes came from my lovely sista saying....
ur the Queen of my heart...4eva! U deserve to win and u won! Proud of u. Later we go celebrate with family. Take care and safe drive back home.
So...a drop of tears felt down..it touches my heart. I'm so blessed to have such a caring and lovely sista like her. She came down just to watched and honour my day. Well, to be frank with u sis, i dont even bother to win that nite...what i look for was just a getting together with fwens and family..i wanna know are all that i always rely on are truly the one who always support me from behind and be there for me no matter what....and obviously u guys did proved it rite. THANK YOU..MUCH THANK YOU. Well..its a long way to go...and much more to learn in life. Cross my finger wishing nothing but the best for me, family and friends to success.
Sunday, December 13, 2009
This is my personal portret in Black and White:) oh yead..the meaning is deep only my self and the one who can see the inner shadow of me knows what i'm trying to tell in this photo of mine. A smile that tells a clueless massage.....
Friday, December 11, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Lately i find myself trapped in my own confusion. I felt really empty without Love even thou i know there are lots of love to gives. I felt lost. The images of the one i used to loved always keep coming to my mind now and then......Is this what we call love? i dont know..and i dont really understand how this feeling goes...Seriously, i've lots of things store in my freaking head and i dont wanna mess myself with this stuffs and crazy emotion that runs thro me.
I am happy as i'm today. To look few months back, i can say i built up myself slowly..trying so hard to always stay positive and keep the memories locked up far away from me. But yes..now and then there's still a rrom for me to miss him....i can't deny it. How could i fall for someone that wasn't mine anymore...He called me once in a while just to check on me. I tot i can handle it...but when ever i heard his voice over the phone, it breaks my heart bit by bit. Crashing that make me almost cry. How i miss him so much...talk to him on da phone for long hours..hear his stories..make fun of him...fighting and stuffs..How i wish he could hear my tiny lil heart singing a love song just for him....And how i truely wish i could meet him again...Really waiting for him to actually invite me out...atleast for a drink or something. i guess..its just a hopeless dream......
Good bye my Almost Lover...Good Bye my Hopeless dream T_T
(the cut in my heart is too deep to be told..it leave a scar that makes me become more heartless each day..........)