Thursday, January 21, 2010

OMG! I'm seriously in an unwell state of mind!

what sould i begin with? I'm trapped in my own shadow that i don't even know who and what i wanna be actually??? Everything seems nice all this while...i enjoyed and blessed every minutes of my day working in a wonderful organisation. I really Love what i'm doing. The thing is i know its gonna be such a challenging year for me as our sales target is increasing almost 20% than last year..that mean..the PREASURE on me also will be MEGA HUGE! and its only half month of the year 2010~ i couldn't imagine how myself would turn up to at the end of the year. GOSH! Right now i'm trying to catch up what i had left behind and focus on the delevelment of the contents direction mainly for business purposes. There had been lots of changes in terms of my new placing in Media Prima, the direction of my work flows and most important ones is changing of communication! Up till now i can sense and see there slightly have a communication breakdown somewhere internally la..........but yeah....i just take things easily as usual. And now i feel like i wanna stand up and speak up!!!!! Because something happen 2day..if i dont speak up now it woould be a big freaking mess later on! Guess what i need to go through 120 slides in 1 nite to be confidently present to our client(agency) 2moro Morning at 9.30am!!! How am i supposed to that?? i will look fucking horrible and stupid 2moro...the fact that i just knew bout this whole thing 2 hours ago!arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...............!!!! that i come to realised this kind of JOB that i really wanna be involve all this while?? to certain extend it does! i always wanted to be here..working in my own expertise field but not with this kind of communications surrounding! it making me SICK! and the worse thing is making me feel that i'm not goot at anything. Seriously i dont like this kind of shit. I belives i'm a kind of person with full intergrity..always stay positive in almost every situation and always wanted productivity in life each day. But a minor mistake in terms of communication can blow everything up!

Right now i donno who to blame and to be angry with. I dont wanna blame my self or even hate myself..i did that b4. Enuff of me scolding myself all this while just to pleased other people. I'm gonna hit that road 2moro..present as i know all the programs at my finger tips.And YES i will show that within a nite i manage to install what ever i can into my naturally high memory spead (my brain)!!!! fuh!!....lega skit dpt lepas kemarahan...........>_<.

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