Monday, August 31, 2009

My fate turns to be my destiny....

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over....I remembered the first day when i saw him at Cinema where we planned to watch premiere movie together. He was wearing green bluish t-shirt and and jeans. I just looked at him and was impressed by his personality with his big afro hair style that i think really looks cute on him. He such a small guy with BIG hai.hehe..i remembered 1st thing i did to him was pulled his hair..just wanna check whether it’s a real hair..yeah it is.. days passed........... and just a hang out to watch movie and conversation continued. In October he sent me an SMS. I messaged him and asked " who are you". He called me and informed. Then we used to send forwarded messages to each other. Sometimes he used to comment on those messages and i felt very nice.

One day he added me on MSN. Daily i used to look at his pics for hours. I dont know why i used to look but i felt something for him. Then we started chatting and there was a sort of excitement. I even check him out on Facebook to know more about him..what kind of life he has..who’s his friends and yada yada..We even started talking on phones. The whole day i used to wait for the night so that we can chat. We became friends but my feelings for him grew more and more after he always invited me out for premiere movie. Then one evening he called and asked ‘ would u be free this weekend? Thought of inviting you to accompany me to Hip hop Fest’ . It was an unexpected surprise for me which changed my whole life. I said yes!!!!!!!!!! and he picked me up. It was cold out there when his friends started to asking about me and him. He stood there and just heart started beating at full speed. We started walking and enjoy the hip hop fest together. He was always around me..and always asked me whether i’m allright or not..i can feel he gave his full attention and concern towards me. I became speechless. I wanted to look into his eyes but i looked here and fact on everything except him.^_^ I know i’m a bit denial..trying so hard not to show my feelings. We came back to parking area, make that small area for both of us and he sat on my kinetic ................and i sat next to him and enjoying the mini hip hop fest from far together. That was soooooooooo romantic but i was pretending to be normal. We took lots of pictures, making funny faces and stuffs and have lil conversation. Well..its like our hearts speak more that we actually talk. It’s an amazing feeling,thou^_^

We went back to our homes ............And i recalled every moment spent together again and again. Next morning he called me and told me that he dream about me. We met again and again. Going out for movies and dinner. Just both of us. For about 3 to 4 months we got to know each other more and more. The nite i wanna spend my time with my girls, he offer to accompany me. There he was with my girl friends talking and cracked jokes and i just look from far how well he mingling around with my friends. We partying at the 1st club he brought me last time and my hands started shivering though i was warm enough....... he jumped and told my friends...........i felt shy as if i did something wrong. My friends smile at me and wanted our photo to be captured together.....The wheather never seemed to me so beautiful as i felt that Nite. After spending time with my girls we went out to my favourite place. We both were sitting closely..... I wanted to say You are what I never knew I always wanted....but....i kept it save in me till now. And i can feel the aura of him also wanted to tell the same thing. We were enjoying our ‘Shisha’ nite together. I know that very nite gonna have a beautiful ending..That was a nite i got a 1st very kiss from a guy i had been went out with for about 3 months. Later before he dropped me off at the car he hold my hand tightly. Playing with my lil fingers..and i look closely at him. Our eyes been looked together. He asked me suddenly " What is going on between us". I became confused ......I smiled and didn’t gave any replied. He asked me once again..but different kind of question this time..’would u be my Girl?’ but i stayed silent for a while..Gave him a sharp look..but i’m still thinking..i closed my eyes...All i can see are those sweet time i had spend with him and when i open my eyes his eyes is still on me..wide open. Waiting eagerly for my answer. And there goes a YES from me!! When i said yes..i donno its a Difinetely a Yes to consider him part of my life or otherwise. I'm not really sure. And he felt really glad. I couldnt sleep that night..........! I was CARAZY in love! And so we are in LOVE......:)

After 2 months i felt something wrong berween us but he persuade me to not just give up..he gained my love back like we used to hold on when we 1st met. Time passed by and its been 6 months we are together and we figure out that something is wrong somewhere. His been silent for a week and so do i as if our chemistry starting to lose. Deep in my heart i knew the time will come. It was dark all around ...and i received a SMS from him.... He said that nothing left from him to me..I felt emptiness. The heart and love are slowly faded. All our hopes were shattered. That nite at my room i cried a lot. I felt as if i am worthless.............not good for anything. Every time i used to open my MSN account i could see him. So i thought i wanna delete him so that i can forget him. But i didn't. He used to message me and i used to replied. I always felt nice whenever he used to send me a message.

He called me on my 24th birthday but i wasn’t answered. Not cos i didn’t want’s because i was praying that time.. and I received his wishes on SMS. I again started thinking about him.. Now it’s officially been 3 months we are not attached. I always welcome him as my friend but as far as i’m concern he putting me back as a stranger instead. I was hoping it’s not gonna be an absolutely goodbye from him..The most eloquent silence.........where only love existed. Whenever i think about how we started at the very beginning of our friendship it will make me fallin in love with him back even though its not gonna happen. Too bad..i guess he is my fate that at the end turn out to be my destiny. It is time for me to be back to reality world..forget the past, enjoy present and plan for the future:)

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