Monday, April 16, 2012

my heart speak...

Everybody have a beautiful heart but as we grow up we tend to experience things in life. Regardless the bad or good ones. I remember when i was a lil girl, i always talk to myself and wanted to be an adult. cos i'm always the who follow arwah abah and mama everywhere. See their life at work and attending big functions and such. I feel like i'm all grown up but actually iwas just 5 6 yrs old that time. hehe. that kinda feeling being an adult was all i wanted. But now....when i see the life of my niece, back from school, turn on tv to watch fav cartoon and sleep. As far as i remember i dont think i go thro that kinda phase of life... her life is pretty simple and well planned. Maybe cos i was too ambitious during her age...and now i end up saying to i wish to hv that kinda life again..feeling enjoy and doesn't think much bout life as a whole~

Snapp it!! its all done and good. Reality check~ im big girl now...Responsibility make me wake up every morning with eagerness to face the world. No matter how i plan my life to be...i know there will always be the best answer from God.

I really want to be sincere to the one i love but how? if my sincerity ni can make someone hurt...and i choose to just keep on denial. Where else at some part of time, the denial came to hurt me bit by bit...its sickening~ its really are....

This morning i talked to my sister on what i felt upon my life, career and the current relationship. Its been awhile we didn't have our bonding time..not that i remembered. i think back when i was in Uni, the time she just got married...our life pretty much bz as always as we all grown up in fast phase life...when she started to end her single life thats the time when i started to find some place to let the feelings and tots out. hmm..besides friends that i trust, blogging is the best platform.

Now i guess i'm back actively on blog. I know life is pretty hard and i couldn't find a place to let it out...just about to let it out to my sista, and she said i would help you on the relationship part..she think i need help on that..she just know me well.hee..i know i screwed up couples of it but still i know what im doing and its just so hard for me to explain to her and others....all she said is, every relationship always have hustles..if i can go thro it with patient InsyAllah wonderful things will happen without you noticed it. Tuhan tu Maha kaya and maha mengetahui..and she wants me to always think the beautiful and positives je so it will somehow attract myself towards it~ And so..i cried.........but i will definitely do what ever she said. Maybe its time for me to take that pieces of  her words to put in consideration~ InsyAllah... but still waiting for the best time to come...


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