Saturday, July 14, 2012

the day i stop crying

i  remember once i was a lil cry baby...pantang di usik skit sure cepat je menangis. And everyone in my family know that. They called me "budak Kememeh"! huh? what in da world do that word stand for? But time to time i wonder by myself..till when la nk nangis kan. Practically i grew up really fast as i learn and discover every lil things that happen around me~

Yesterday i welcome my senior, my mentor and my future business partner to my house. I bring along my mom and brother to sit down and discuss on our BIG AGENDA...huhu...sounds really big is! if it happen....i guess we really BOOMM BIG TIME!insyAllah...And of course as an opening story, mama always...and forever la highlight my kinda story kan~ not forgetting my mentor also highlight some good things about me in front of mama and abg. well..thats not a point actually... the point was mama ckp she doesn't know linda as in a working field...but for her I'm such a cry baby...gosH! she actually said that in front of my future business partner and co. Worst case...abg added on mama's phrase~ serious Ppotonggg!! (there goes my credibility) huhu....

well..basicaly they know me pretty fine...they know my work and i can say they know me to the limits of dedication and hardcore working spirit! la..dapat one campaign that i guess i can manage i'm soo semangat la kan! ;) Besides mama mentioning i'm a cry baby all this years...hey look at me..i'm a big girl now...perhaps at this age i can be a mommy,thou.

to be honest i figure to just hide my tears from everybody..tak kire la my family ke tak, it is when i discover i need to move and stand on my 2 feet. Tiada rasa sedey sgt2 lagi dah cos i really feel the real sadness after  i lost my dad at the young age. I remember at that moment i look and i think deeply..where should i turn to? whose gonna be the leader of all...who? who? whoOo? and so.....i pronounced to built a deepest believes in me that no matter what happen me, myself have to be strong to face the world. Family is Family....but pegangan idup diri sendri tu ikat kuat2 to ourself.

Many people doesn't really think like me. Some said i'm weird...and others always tot im the bad onc. huh..pls...if i were to stand on what people say all these while i think i would be dead by now! ye la mana tak nyer...cam2 org dah try buat lots of things to me...u know..i've been used and lied before..all i would say is...its a leaning process in life anyway....the pain isn't so strong like i used to feel when i know i'd lost my father~ oh..God only knows how miserable i was at that particular moment. I guess that's why not just myself  yang independent ...i can see that in my siblings. i mean...both family. We got our late Dad's gen i i mean the good one....;) to add on...we are all the LEADER to ourself.

i guess..pompuan mmg senonim ngan tangisan2 ni....its been awhile thou i didn't feel that kinda value it me...think that all this while im pathetically transform myself and trying so hard to be like a boy! cos oh yeahh....boys dont cry. be truth...girls always be girls. my heart senang sgt tersentuh..and mulalah those air mata bergenang..aiiyakkkk!! cliche la plak jd gegurl ni...oh ya! i guessthe last time i really really2 cried was when i'm in Mekkah!! seeing the wonderful Kaabah in front of my eyes..oh my God!! airmata cam air terjun je turun...i cant control feels benda yg slama ni simpan plg dalammmm la dlm ati ni transform into air mata T_T.....thats was the best moment ~ i mean crying moment la.. lol..
oh ya....dlm flight i cried gak...sbb pasang mp3 skali kluar my dad's fav karaoke song....kopratasa ke ape nama kumpulan ni...and he always sang this song to mama...

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