Sharing thoughts..

How do we actually knows that we fall in love?? Is there any sign? This is what i'm facing right now. hmmm....its been a while i didn't get this kind of feeling in me. Not that i know since my last break up. The dating game started 2 months back..think i'm reading to be on the market back! haha...well..it sounds kinda funny..guess what..thats what single girls do. But i play it really safe this time. I wouldn't want to date some kiddos/BOYS...now what i'm looking for is the REAL MAN..GENTLEMAN!! fuhhh....i think i'm ready to be committed once again. The QUESTION is..HOW DO I GET INVOLVE WITH LOVE AGAIN?? all this while..i can say that..love come and go in my freaking life. It wouldn't stay long like i always wish for. I think is time for me to take it really slow..really really slow. I believes after all i've been through there's no need to rush in relationship. Being in love its a journey that we should feel amazing and appreciate the moments being together. haa......FINALLY..i speak in such a lovely words...gosh! i think i fall in love.....(better not to think it so serious..cos the other person just being relax and steady bout whats goin on)LoL!

ok..back to my Question agian....do love need a sign from both party? what kind of signs? I always the one not GOOD at reading sign when it comes about feelings.hehe.. i can be super BLUR actually. for me love always happen in the center of my realiazation. This i answer that very question if to think that i'm fallin for someone....

When i fall in love with another person, i tend to get happier than i always do and lighthearted. I'm excited about life, and have this burning desire in me to be with that very someone as often as possible..this include always want to talk on the phone with him in every seconds of my life.(i know it sounds so cliche). the fact that i wanna be close with him and laugh with him as well...if happen we are really click together and there are lots of stories to tell and things to argue about..knowing myself..it always have arguement between me and my partner where i found it really an interesting thing to happen in relationship. well atleast it will spice up our day.heee. And of course i did that in purpose just to make that someone happy..to make him whenever he thinks of me it will creat a smile even in his sleep.lol. Of course when he's happy thats the moment of BLESSED to me...its goona make my life even HAPPIER and blissful. As time goes on , if it is a true love( i always wish for it everytime)..i want to spend and share my life with that very someone as much as i can give.

So, do u think i'm fallin in love right now...?? I should ask myself then. This guy is somewhere in my heart that i just donno whether its real or not....confussion is part of fallin in love i guess.haha...will c whats gonna happen next. To be continue.....:)

I'm in utter Bliss

yaw people!! I'm in completely Bless with all the people around me=) Firstly, aku mmg lah tersgt happy ok cos my mom just got back from Mekkah! she completed her Hj. Alhamdulillah....I god knows how muchhh i missed her since she left us all for about 1 month plus. To look back for the past 1 month, we, the 5 siblings, went through it really smoothly. Cos i believes we are really independent! and bviously my mom x der la risau sgt kat sana.. sbb dia tau anak2 dia smua cam WORKCAHOLICS. Bz sbb keja ok la tu kan..;) So, yesterday my mom safely landed. Me, my sis and hubby grak gi airport at 1 in da morning! oh ya.. Faizal and his si manis intan payong pon ikut gak...nama pon dorank dah nak kawin kan next year. 1st menantu pompuan mak aku sorank ni mmg la tersgt disayangi...sometimes aku rasa cam dia anak btul mak aku kot. What to do..my mom seems so nice to everyone...and she always open some rooms to her heart for the one needed. Sebenarnya...before fecth my mom kat airport i went out to see live bands. sampai kul 1am..pas tu trus grak gi airport. Kantoi plak ngan mak aku kul 1 pagi still ader make up kat muka kan....well mama, actually i make myself presentable just to welcome u back=) heeee....

Yesterday was a FUN day for mee!!!! wa grak gi ROTW 9 kat bukit jalil sbb nak tgk my lovely girlfwen perform..si Ainul Aishah!! Minah sorank ni la satu2 nyer kwn aku yg sememangnyer di lahirkan tuk berkwn ngan aku ..sbb seriously she's one crazy girl! cos of that i love heer. nak jd kan cite plak...Ain bwk ROCKSTAR berambut purple... si Iznie!! mula nyer kennal Iznie ni thro ain je...pernah la chat ngan dia kat YM..and happen that we comment on FB! so...my friendship with iznie started in FB the aiin bwk dia watched my performance that day! so...kenla la in real world minah ni! serious...we end up with a PERFECT 3!! serious bley thn gak la gile2 dia ni..sesuai sgt and obviously we speak the same language..senang la nak handle. So..here we are rocking @ ROTW 9!!! memang best...tersgt la best...kat sana wa jumpe gak Ex wa...sape lagi klo bkn DJ SHAC ADELLIC tu! since broke serious x pernah jumpe..about 6 7 months gak la..but we always update ourselves throu SMS/FB/email...smua bend la klo bley...he's like my close fwen but rasa cam pelik la plak if nak bgtau and update smua kan..sbb ntah la..he just there and there...thats it! and of course deep inside i always missed him..god knows how much i did...;( eceh! nak sedey plak...but after all....dgn cara x sengaja..jeng jeng jeng....terserempak la plak ngan dia kat VIP TENT!!! and i didn't even mention to him that i'll be going to ROTW!haha....seriously klo dpt captured muke dia time tu.........mmg bley menang picture terbaik la!!! he was so shocked ..(^$^%&^#@!##!! cam nampak antu la plak kan...i as wondering ape aku x pakai bj ke sampai dia buat muke cam tu? hahahhaa. rupe nyer dia x sangka i attended that event! like duhhhh.....told him cos ainul is performing kot...and there goes lil chat with him...seriously..kind of weird la the feelings i went thro..i missed all words yg nak ckp ngan dia....hmmmm... Rindu sgt ni! ^_^ he always be da same shac i used to know...Slimmmm je..hahaha=) and there he intto me once again ngan Nazri boss ERA! He knew me with shac last time..but i guess he also knew that its over between us=) and then...i lost him...

ok! next tgk ain nyer performance!! perhh....dia punya excited naik Stage ok! tp cam tersipu2 malu..nyampah aku! haha. yg si iznie tetiba plak terasa nak mkn burger..so me and iznie gi la burger ramli dia to think that ain will perform another 15mins. ni smua kerna ally bg info salah!damn it! tengah2 tunggu burger...announce that ain will be performing..sebaik kedai burget tu x jauh mana arr.....aku rampas camera dr iznie ngan payong,neg ain and iznie smua la aku pegang lari ke depan stage....'coming thro' , coming thro, coming thro!!! hahhaha.....akhir nyer settle down rite infront! izni still tunggu burger dia....after few mins starts..iznie br muncul sebelah aku blk! hahhaa..klakar weii....but seriously sgt suke that moment! ain as really good on stage! i proud of her...she has a very nice voice that can melt everyone.......cuma sound system kat situ x der la bagus mana..ain nyer suara pon x dgr sgt..ain perform only 1 song butit was SUPERB!! satu je la x best...sbb UJAN!!! abis lari2 smua baju basah2....38% wet ok!tu pon sbb we all berjaya curi payong sape ntah..haha.

then we all lari to INDIE STAGE! cos promised aliff that i'LL watch his band perform! dah la hengat sama time ngan ain..sebaik dorank nyer delayed skit! wheee.... i'm so IMPRESSED ok tgk CCH PERFORM! their CROWD nowdays getting bigger and bigger!! They stared a year ago and now they all making it BIG!! sonok nyerr tgk dorank..i envy the efforts and the fun they all put 2gether in making CCH a big thing now in Indie scenes....way to go boys!!!i used to be with aliff back in Uni those days....and i even took CCH photos b4 they all famous and go for music scenes. They all really looks good on that freaking STAGE!!! the crowd went really wild that make us 3 blah dr tengah2 bwh stage tu...ader x pasal we all girls kena blasah kang...hehehe. so..i met Aliff after show..have a lil chit chat updating bout each others and i told him that they really ROCKS MY WORLD!! haha...

wa blah awal sbb................think i better save the stories for myself...not ready to tell here in my blog..cos its gonna be a big long thing to tell now....and i wanna peeeeeee rite now...gosh!!

I'm feeling so ALIVE!!

Alhamdulillah...everythings over in a way that i wanted to. I just got back from CAREFREE QUEEN competition held in Crown Plaza Hotel,KL. Somehow i look back what i had been through is so colorful. Me myself feels with so much love surround me and i'm so blessed. I really am. Its all started when i actually wanted to send my own personal Video for a competition. I knew that the video gonna be a big hit! and i can say...IT IS!! For this i just wanna thanks to my groupies who had turn out tonite to celebrate the enjoying awards nite with me. We deserved the appreciation..the good feedback and of course the amazing impression own our art works!! and i'm so thankful that we are in one group..after all what we went through last time ..at last berbaloi gak!! hehehe...deeep inside my heart i know that this video will go somewhere...and BOOMMM!! there u go...we WON!!! damn girl....i felt really like superstar..with all flash lights on me..NON STOP! makes me feel great and enjoy every moment of the flash and spot lights! its all about glamarous...and hell yeah..not that easy being a superstar i guess...reporters keep runnin to us non stop..questioning and taking photos. I need to make my self in the centre of my own control so i wont slipped any harsh or sensetive words that might make certain party unconfartable with. I'm glad everything runs pretty awesome to me..did it very casually as i always did:)

There are so many congrats wishes to me that nite and all i gave back was THANK YOU SO MUCH and a smile to all that had supported me all this while...felt that i'm winning an oscar or something..but yeah....it some sort like that kind of feeling,thou.haha. The most memorable wishes came from my lovely sista saying....

Linda,
ur the Queen of my heart...4eva! U deserve to win and u won! Proud of u. Later we go celebrate with family. Take care and safe drive back home.

So...a drop of tears felt down..it touches my heart. I'm so blessed to have such a caring and lovely sista like her. She came down just to watched and honour my day. Well, to be frank with u sis, i dont even bother to win that nite...what i look for was just a getting together with fwens and family..i wanna know are all that i always rely on are truly the one who always support me from behind and be there for me no matter what....and obviously u guys did proved it rite. THANK YOU..MUCH THANK YOU. Well..its a long way to go...and much more to learn in life. Cross my finger wishing nothing but the best for me, family and friends to success.
Amin!

Black and WHITE photo contest!!

Hey you all...A blogger fwen of mine just create a photo contest! so...i'm sO positively wanna Join..suka-suki je. Support her contest as i always have a heart for photography;) if u wanna know more bout the contest just click on this LINK

This is my personal portret in Black and White:) oh yead..the meaning is deep only my self and the one who can see the inner shadow of me knows what i'm trying to tell in this photo of mine. A smile that tells a clueless massage.....

Finally i have my own time. Long back then..for couples of week i've been dreaming to have my own personal weekend. Say NO to DATING! pause that trendy dating in my life for a while.. its time to focus on what i want. Probably a lil room for my self and friends would help. So, today..i'm proadly announce that i'm at home. lying on my bed i think for abhout half a day..well..might sounds boring to all but trust me..I'm loving it!! so much in fact. Lying and watching some good movies are something i usually do in spending my own time. My phone been off and there you go...feeling great the whole day. Till i open my phone back...and there goes lots off messages...Oh nO! but well..thats life..people get connected!

Last week i pampered my self with a SPA treatment then going outing with fwens to Berjaya Hills (we wanted to go to Frasser hill but turn to berjaya hills instead.lol). I did my SPA at Sembunyi Spa, Cyberjaya together with Wani. Never had a good company like what i got with that girl. Lots of girl talks been done and yeah of course there a il bit touching stories as well. Personal and stuffs. Its totally a good SPA package with a good company. After Spa..i wend to for an outing with my CLOSE FWEN..Ai,Azry,Reena and Arip. 2 girls and 3 guys...:) and yes there's one more room for a girl where i supposed it belongs to our dearest DURA. damN! we missed u we can say....Aijust got his NEW BRAND SLR CAMERA..and so he officially out from CANON gank with me. He change to NIKKON to join Azry. They both was really eager to go outing taking photography. So here came in da picture to give them a hand on photography skills and anything that i've learn about it. With and open arms..i LOVE too=) As i look at both of them, i can see they were so excited to discover the photography world. It create a sweet touching moments in my heart. I used to have that eagerness in meself. Feeling great taking photos of beautiful nature and creatures. Its a moment of satisfaction. I did taught them something i learned in my past in handling cameras and models. Guess what...me and reena are their model;) hehee....i couldn't deny it, i just love working in front of camera as much as i did behind the camera=) I even gave Ai a chance to explore modelling photography as wani wanted me to be her photographer for her and her sis's boutique. But i end up to be their model instead..and i direct Ai to be the photographer:) absolutely a Fantastic photos,thou!

And Yesterday...we went for outing as well...ok..let me rewind lil bit back..i went out for a movie to watch Love happens. Its kinda boring but the msg that i got it went rite to my FACE! its all about MOVING ON!! How well i said that i actually had moved on but deep inside me i wasn't..maybe a bit. but still there a lil piece of me that not move on from what in my passed. In that movie..the HERO was told that he's the one who help people to move on and pronounce to others that he DID moved on from the confussion,the lost and the passed but the fact that at the end of the movie he reveal to all that its kind of HARD for him to MOVE ON even though he tried his best!! i second that...hell second that!!!been there and done that.But yeah..his stories and my stories are different. he kind of got a happy ending( cos its in da movie i guess)..but for me...i'm still searching for one Happy ending but i don't seems it coming to me now.......perhap later soon...hopefully..

Ok! back on track...after movie..i went home. Then kena culik with a same people to GENTING!!yehaaaaaa.....i cant really remembered quite well what we did over there...but it was FUN! The most that i can remembered was i played a psychology games at OLD TOWN Genting! thats the part i remembered most. seriously it was Fun, Funny and hillarious!!!hahahaaha..well i guess i must be pretty tired last nite that i'm not in da middle of my own COntrol. Been sleeping for 3 -4 hours a day...lately he came back to my mind...gosh! i know i could lives like this ...and i dont want to...........i believes the time will come..

my song...

Almost Lover.

Lately i find myself trapped in my own confusion. I felt really empty without Love even thou i know there are lots of love to gives. I felt lost. The images of the one i used to loved always keep coming to my mind now and then......Is this what we call love? i dont know..and i dont really understand how this feeling goes...Seriously, i've lots of things store in my freaking head and i dont wanna mess myself with this stuffs and crazy emotion that runs thro me.

I am happy as i'm today. To look few months back, i can say i built up myself slowly..trying so hard to always stay positive and keep the memories locked up far away from me. But yes..now and then there's still a rrom for me to miss him....i can't deny it. How could i fall for someone that wasn't mine anymore...He called me once in a while just to check on me. I tot i can handle it...but when ever i heard his voice over the phone, it breaks my heart bit by bit. Crashing that make me almost cry. How i miss him so much...talk to him on da phone for long hours..hear his stories..make fun of him...fighting and stuffs..How i wish he could hear my tiny lil heart singing a love song just for him....And how i truely wish i could meet him again...Really waiting for him to actually invite me out...atleast for a drink or something. i guess..its just a hopeless dream......

Good bye my Almost Lover...Good Bye my Hopeless dream T_T

(the cut in my heart is too deep to be told..it leave a scar that makes me become more heartless each day..........)

Moody Sunday....

How can i tell bout my lame moody Sunday. I was MUCH happier yesterday..and i don't know somehow something turn off my bubbly and cheerful Sunday! Everything and everybody put a blame on me...and i felt i'm so fucking useless!! why why why?? i just need some support and appreciation from others but all they can see is my mistakes? while i'm always giving supports to others in whatever they do..not letting them down..not even once !... Sometimes i even ask my self, why should i be nice to people who always notice my mistakes rather than the good things i did? Is it hard to say Thank YOu or give some positive supports? i aint not need any money for god sake! u got nothing to loose nway...

There's only lil misunderstanding than leads to a MAJOR disaster! but please do remember than i'm trying my best here..put so many effort to make this happen as much as want to see all my friends happy. If what in the return i get is just bad points for u guys..i guess there's no room i can be trusted ever in your heart....T_T

The carefreequeen=)

Heyoooo peopleee.....well..this is it! Finally i get a platform to enter a competition where i can submit my very own Video Clip:) This vedio was done 3 yrs ago...and Never Ever been published on youtube or any media based....As a team, all members agreed not to published or to spread around but yeah..guess its about time we should enter competition. I know its kind of lousy video...but atleast we tried to came out with such a conceptual music video...better than the original video;) ....i think so la...haha

So, here i'm sooooOOo soOooo please if u guys out there think that our video deserve to win, do vote by clicking the below image...and i know u can see the navigation called 'UNDILAH SAYA'..hurry!! just one click and BoOommm....God Bless you FOREVER!:) heee...

and good luck fopr others...u guys been so great and confident bout yourself...thats why we are in this competition..:)

You is You...I am ME!

I am Me. In all parts of the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it . I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears. I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes. Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.

By doing so, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts. I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me. How I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is an authentically me. If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded. I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am good about my self.

So my dear friends... Love Yourself First then start to spread some to others ;) hugs!~

SIngapore again with mom..

Just got back from Singapore with my mom. I spend the whole weekend at Nannyta's crib! Just me and mom flew to Singapore...guess its the only suitable time i can spend my time with mom. Most of my weekends i always spend it with friends..:) My mom had some agenda over @ Singapore that i dont really know...until i got there. Knowing my another family who lives in Singapore was a real Drama! I donno that i born in such a BIG FAMILY!! talked to my mom that i dont even know mainly all of them...haha. My mom said that because u dont wanna know get involves in anything about family matters...i stayed silent and just gave her a BIG whatever kind of SMILE! LoL...

The best part was...i dont even know i have a second cousin that look alike as my EX-BOYFRIEND!! mY god!! He's CUTE!!!! and have a sweet smile! God such a giver......hehe and yeah...God knows what inside my heart^_^ and so there we were starting to know wach other.....being there make me realised that i still have a ROOM for LOVE in myself....but...my scared. Scared to face it, scared of broken again......the healing part is much more scarrier! I put this sign (,) in my love diaries..meaning gimme a break...get to a correct starting point again. end the last journal i was in....i woouldn't wanna draw a new love stories in myself.....i'll wait till the correct time and lights of love say so......I dont find any sparked with the one i just met....maybe cos we are cousin(not a close cousin)...or maybe i'm the one who not letting go whats in the passed..even though i said i did....

And we had our own day out together..showing me the best place to hang out and get to know each other. Damn! waiting for that 'spark' but there wasn't any....Ok ok! understood! I've to keep an eyes on him for now...and put it as..whats my fav quote.....hmm....oh ya..'Klo ada jodoh...adalah....' hehe.

my most sickening weekend!

As i lay back at home through out the most sickness weekend i ever had somehow i realised that sometimes in the worst struggles, I find my greatest strength. Been sick through out the week and knowing myself, when ever i fall sick..its like my world durn upside down. I dont want to meet people and i choose to stay alone in my bed room. there goes my weekend...lying down all alone..My friends did came over to cheer me up...took me out to went for karaoke..It was fun but yeah...my mind and heart wasn't 100% there..it just a thing what i called UNLIKE myself. I used to be the MOST hyper ones everytime we go for a karaoke session..the one who will jump up and down..the mic will always be in my hand...and always with my 'PSYCHO DIVA' behavior.haha..well...that nite i turn down a bit...but still i can denied i had fun,thou. Of course i did..cos my closest friends are there...Dura, Reena, Ai, DD and Azry=) Supposedly i planned to have my weekend at terengganu together with shara and wani but i cancelled last minute cos seriously i'm on HIGH FEVER! In fact till now......damn! I hate to cancelled what i have planned...;( And of course i always have back up plans over the weekend..but still couldn't make it. I've quite a nums of open house to attend but at the end i refused to go. So here i am stucked in my own house lying down..take medicines and sleep......
ITS TOTALLY SUCKS to the MAX!~

Back to the Old days..........

The day before we left for ‘lebaran’ trip to JB I know this would be such a interesting trip after few years didn’t managed to go back to my mom hometown. Even though just 6 of us can make it we still go for it. My younger brother can’t make it cos he’s gonna face his Uni exam tomorrow..so he thought that he’ll study over the weekend. But yeah...only god knows what his doing..la la la. And my brother gave such an unrealistic reason...he’s working over the weekend! Like Hellooooo...i’m working same organization as him..and I know what’s on his side. For god sake..[eople don’t really work on the 1st weekend on festive month! And this probably gonna be his last Raya with us...next year he’ll get married. Deep inside me, I really wanted the whole family turn back to where we usually spend our Raya..at least for once! Well....times change us all....

We stopped and had our dinner at KFC. Cos our lil ones, Sophie, really love KFC potato wedges! There the lil ones all got messed up playing with her patato wedges and my sis got to clean everything up before we went on the road. Yep, nothing else standing in the way. Fortunately, we headed out for lebaran trip at Night. After 4 hours of driving and stops...And at last we arrived at my mom home town. It was really dark at the village..only can hear sounds of some ‘cengkerik’ buzzing. And there wasn’t any ‘pelita’ light up like those days we used to see round my Tok Mat's house. To my surprised there wasn’t any feeling of Raya for me..........But as i looked at my grandma face..i felt that...This is A Raya Moment! Those ‘pelita’ wasn’t my thing anymore.... all i need is a blessing and forgiving from my eldest...

Everybody grow up really fast. And poor thing for Sophie didn’t really experience what we felt during Raya time those days. It was such a happening Raya Moment with pelita all around and there was 'bunga api' session with siblings and cousins...aww!~ I believes she enjoyed on her own ways;) Well, this lebaran i realised something, there are so many responsibility in every single day that we faced. I saw my sister and brother in law always take turn among them to entertain her lil sophie cos always crying and the one that needs attention most of the time. When I saw that i felt really tired...tired for what my sister facec right now but unfourtunately my sis seems to enjoyed it instead! Gosh...seriously, I love to have my own baby one day..but as for now i think i couldn’t face a HUGE responsibility like my sis did! Love kids but not for now i guess... ( i was on tears whenever i remembered and i saw my sis with her kid..pity myself)

And generally enjoying each other's company while enjoying my mom Home town!!!! =)

Raya!! yeah.....Raya!wheee....

As I wait outside the shopping mall this morning, I see families were so excited choosing a colourful and beautiful “Baju Kurung” (traditional Malay clothing) in matching the whole concept of one family and I see children running and laughing everywhere in celebration of yet another month of Syawal to come.For me, I’ve always associated this day as a day to make amends, a day to seek redemption and forgiveness from those around me.

My grandfather… My grandmother… My father… I remember those who have passed away… It seems that my family is getting smaller as the years go by. But in those years when someone passed away, we greet the coming of someone new. After my father passed away, my sister got married. And welcome my brother in-law into my family and then.. my niece was born. Soon my brother will get married and it goes on and onWith all these memories… I have a feeling deep inside my heart of those whom I have possibly hurt or disappointed in the past. Will I ever seek their forgiveness? Will I ever be forgiven?

The answer is not clear. And that is what troubles me most of the time…Will I have enough time to say I’m sorry… before it’s too late… So my dear friends, this ‘Lebaran’ i’m seek for your forgiveness and let us make this ‘Lebaran’ such a wonderful days to all of us. Forget everything what’s in the past, and welcome the truly white cloth in our relationship and friendship.

‘Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Dan Batin’:)Enjoy!~

TV9 at KedaH

Last weekend we, TV9 was invited by Koperasi Pekan baru, Alor Setar, Kedah for iftar and give away 'bubur Lambok'! Achap from Kawan 9 cruiser lead through out the whole trip. He put so much effort from transportation, finding a place for accomodation up to making a big success for Bubur Lambok events! BRAVO!!! We arrived at Alor Setar round 6 something. Check into the hotel then went out for iftar at Achap's home. His family welcome us so warmly. There as a lot of food been ready for all of us...we feel really blessed and thankful to them who cooked for us. Oh yeah...at the same time..i text Akmal, my Uni's fwen. Whenever i go to Kedah..he's the one i can think of cos he lives in Sungai Petani...even though if i'm in Penang i'll contact him for sure.hehe=) For our 1st day of Iftar at Kedah, Achap's family served us with Home Made Nasi Tomato...and they all welcome us with this one 'kuih' that i'm not so sure what is it...but i ate that kuih a lot ok! i just love to try new things...and it happen tasted really nice. According to achap, its a ritual for his family to made that very kuih when one of the family member return home after long time been apart=) how sweet was that aite:) so freaking sweeeeeeetttt ok;) After we had our Iftar....this was a fun part! we played firecrakers and 'bunga api'! I had so much fun.....its been so longgggg i didn't felt that way..it seems that just yesterday i played with my siblings where we used to play 2gether during 'Raya' time...fight over firecrackers..ahaha..it so remind me back of my childhood life.huhu

So, after chilllin at achap's crib, we got back to Regency Hotel. I was placed in the same round as Wani. As usual la, if girls sharing a room we sooo gonna do the pillow talk + gossiping;) we had a great talk till we both fall asleep.....Wani woke up early for sahur, but i choose to sleep till the next morning=) hehe...Next day, its time for us to make 'bubur lambok' with koperasi's people. We cooked 3 big 'belanga' at Pekan Rabu to catter round 1000 people. Who said make bubur lambok is easy? well..i've to say that its really...really HARD! not to say that i donno how to cook...but yeah...to get the real taste, its really hard! the process took roughly 6 hours...mixing all the herbs, boild the water, cut off all vege..uh! there are lots of process...huhu. but yeah..we tried it after all and end up great! so..you guys should try! its the whole new experience,thou=) LoL. And yeah..our cute lil LG winner, was the one got bullied to do Bubur Lambok by her own! pity her....but i believes she's a spotting girl nway;) i actually help her out=)other than cooking, we went shopping at pekan baru. Farah bought 'Baju Kurung' for Raya...wani trying so hard to find one for her..but she didn'y managed to......i'm the one who be their fashion consultant most of the time...cos i did shopping with mom rite before starts fasting month;) well... that me..like to shop in advance.LoL.

@nd Nite in Kedah is MUCH MORE FUN! Akmal from Sungai Petani came down to meet us up. And he had promised me to bring me to the best place to eat Nasi Kandar 'TERBAIK' (according to him la)..:p and seriously..that was my 1st time eat nasi kandar....SUPERB oK! btul la ckp si akmal tu....MMG TERBAIK! and he even said..once u eat it...u feel wanna get married to 'org Utara'!! and its a BIG YES,thou! hahaha....the taste is really nice...i dont really eat rice...but i just fall in llove with Nasi Kandar Royal!=) ...(mandramm ape la dia guna tu i wonder!) haha..There was akmal, safuan and akmal 2nd...wani, farra and me! we smua MElantak ok...then after mkn nasi kandar..i feel like going round2..just wanna see how kedah nite life looks like...but unfortunately its ramadan month...everything are dead at 10PM! so..akmal came out with a plan..Safuan came out with a plan..going shishaing...and i'm the only one say YES! lets GO!...then....both of my colleagues agreed! huhu..so we went to Jitra. Guess what..Jitra wasn't that far from Alor Setar..its like PJ to Cyber..only 45 mins thou! SEmpoiii kan kan=) VrOOmMmm! tadaaaa....we were in JITRA, KEDAH! as we entered this one area..it has a strech of stalls selling stuffs for Raya! me..and all the gurls look at each other i screemmmmm...hahaha..cos this is what we are looking for..wani since she didnt get her baju raya yet...she was really earger wanna go shoppin at Jitra=) So..the boys enjoy shishaing outside..while the girls busy looking roound at Aunty Yang's boutique! I make friends with aunty yang till she tot that me and farra is TV9 personalities! CRAP! but yeah.cos of that we managed to get discount for the cloths that we bought! My Baju kurung prize supposed to be RM595..but managed to get for RM400! gosh! how cheap is that! The Baju realy fit me nicely. Aunty even take a photo of me and farra=) Cool gile ok aunty yang!hahaha....and guess what?! we spend almost an hour at aunty yang's boutique...i even ate lots of her raya cookies on guest table.hahahahaha.....Finally i bought 1 baju and so did Farra..Only Wani didn't;( cos happen that all clothers didn't fit her so well....or maybe she was lil bit choosy:p hehe
That nite...we all had fun till 3AM 2gether with a very new people we actually know...Two words for Kedah peeps..U guys are so FRIENDLY and NICE! 2 thumbs up for u ols=)

NAK RAYA wOOooO!!!!

PLayfoOL me and Sofie

Sofie and Me.....this how we have fun bullying wach other;)

Well, its been quite a while i didn't play round with my one and only lil angel, Sofie. She's going to be 1 year old soon on 17th September. How time flies really fast.. I remembered the day she was born. The night me sis wanna delivered, i came down to see her at hospital right afther work. She been hospitalised for 2 days before the delivered. And i was so eager and excited to the max where i actually came down each day to see my sis. She always welcome me even though i know she was in real pain..there i was making a stupid jokes and telling her some funny stories what i had been through out the day..just wanna get loose some of her pain.LoL!

The nite my sis told me that the baby will come probably soon....it was 1 in the morning. Guess what..i'm still at hospital with my work attire. My brother in laws asked me to go home and he'll text me once everything done. But i refused to. After awhile the doctor came to see me telling me that only husband can wait at hospital....so there i was living my sis and her husband in the deliver room...;( i got home and still waiting for teh good news...till i fall asleep.hehe..guess i;m so freaking tired that time. As i woke up...i open my phone there are nums of missed calls from my sis's phone. huhu...and i got a msg telling her healthy Baby Sofia was born!!! i screemmmmm out loud that morning and i accidentally came late to office..haha. but yeah..who cares getting late to office when we actually happy with the good news of the day aite;) haha

(Kak yan her adorable daughter,Sofia)

so, my lil Sofie...what would i give to you on your 1st birthday??hmmmm....your 1st birthday its like my 1st time giving present to a KID! cos yeah..ur i my 1st niece for god sake...hahaha...seriously i donno what to get her...i think she got everything from he mom and daddy..i even quarrel with my lil sofie on teddies that her grandma baught for her.haha...nah...i'm just a big bully in my family,thou...soon u gonna have lots of fun as u grow up with your Aunty Linda;)

Yellow Cab Pizza..at last;)

Guess what?? Its been almost 3 weeks all muslims been fasting. Its such a mellow month but Alhamdulillah so far so good i went thro it...and yes no 'ponteng' yet:) The sad things about this ramadan, i had a lil time to break fast with my family...so far 3 times only and i didn't had a chance yet to go ' solat terakwih'. Well, life is getting busy each day for me. Every day i have to break fast with clients and all.

Last weekend, i did something crazy thing. i had such a different and DARING weekend. I turn myself into Blondie!!haha..I'm kind of boring with my hair color,,used to have it on brown,redish and also blond before...its been a while i didn't touch up myself. Its time to transform! After dying my hair that Sunday nite, i came down to rasta! A place i used to chill almost every nite...there was my beloved dura, and my macho guys, Didi,Ai, Faisal and Arip! They wasn't realy noticed the changing of my hair color..only dura did. Well..cos guess it was too dark to see it at nite.hehe.

Linda with a Fav pizza of the year.......whee...(Shahril yg ajak mkn pizza yellow cab ni!)

Next day, as promised..i went out with Shahril, a long lost fwen of mine, and we both tried out 'Yellow Cab Pizza'!! What i can say..it was awesome!! Totally awesome! And this time shahril noticed it....cos below the sun light is sooo freaking obvious Blond! hahahaa....None of my family members like it..my mom and my sis especially. They said they cant see me in this hair colored. I didn't even look like 'Linda'...and i'm like lil bit blur here...what does it mean by that??

So, i dont want to heard my mom feeling and i know how much she wants me in my dark hair again..cos its near 'Hari Raya' nway..she really concern bout what our relatives gonna say bout me....LoL. What to do...so i turn back to 'Linda' that they used to see...hehe

After i colored my hair...Many people said that i looked nice with blond hair do. damn!~ ;( (:

Berganti hati..beralih arah..

Lagu ini adalah jiwa aku buat waktu ini..........................

bantuin aku tuk trus bangkit..bantuin aku..

I dont Love you.....but actually i always do..

I Don't Love You lyrics

Well when you go
Don't ever think I'll make you try to stay
And maybe when you get back
I'll be off to find another way
When after all this time that you still owe
You're still, the good-for-nothing
I don't know
So take your gloves and get out
Better get out
While you can
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you Like I did Yesterday"

Sometimes I cry so hard from pleading
So sick and tired of all the needless beating
But baby when they knock you
Down and out It's where you oughta stay
And after all the blood that you still owe
Another dollar's just another blow
So fix your eyes and get up
Better get up While you can Whoa, whooa
When you go
Would you even turn to say
"I don't love you Like I did Yesterday"
Well come on, come on
When you go
Would you have the guts to say
"I don't love you Like I loved you Yesterday"
I don't love you Like I loved you Yesterday
I don't love you Like I loved you Yesterday

My fate turns to be my destiny....

Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice but falling in love with you I had no control over....I remembered the first day when i saw him at Cinema where we planned to watch premiere movie together. He was wearing green bluish t-shirt and and jeans. I just looked at him and was impressed by his personality with his big afro hair style that i think really looks cute on him. He such a small guy with BIG hai.hehe..i remembered 1st thing i did to him was pulled his hair..just wanna check whether it’s a real hair..yeah it is.. days passed........... and just a hang out to watch movie and conversation continued. In October he sent me an SMS. I messaged him and asked " who are you". He called me and informed. Then we used to send forwarded messages to each other. Sometimes he used to comment on those messages and i felt very nice.

One day he added me on MSN. Daily i used to look at his pics for hours. I dont know why i used to look but i felt something for him. Then we started chatting and there was a sort of excitement. I even check him out on Facebook to know more about him..what kind of life he has..who’s his friends and yada yada..We even started talking on phones. The whole day i used to wait for the night so that we can chat. We became friends but my feelings for him grew more and more after he always invited me out for premiere movie. Then one evening he called and asked ‘ would u be free this weekend? Thought of inviting you to accompany me to Hip hop Fest’ . It was an unexpected surprise for me which changed my whole life. I said yes!!!!!!!!!! and he picked me up. It was cold out there when his friends started to asking about me and him. He stood there and just smile..........my heart started beating at full speed. We started walking and enjoy the hip hop fest together. He was always around me..and always asked me whether i’m allright or not..i can feel he gave his full attention and concern towards me. I became speechless. I wanted to look into his eyes but i looked here and there...............in fact on everything except him.^_^ I know i’m a bit denial..trying so hard not to show my feelings. We came back to parking area, make that small area for both of us and he sat on my kinetic ................and i sat next to him and enjoying the mini hip hop fest from far together. That was soooooooooo romantic but i was pretending to be normal. We took lots of pictures, making funny faces and stuffs and have lil conversation. Well..its like our hearts speak more that we actually talk. It’s an amazing feeling,thou^_^

We went back to our homes ............And i recalled every moment spent together again and again. Next morning he called me and told me that he dream about me. We met again and again. Going out for movies and dinner. Just both of us. For about 3 to 4 months we got to know each other more and more. The nite i wanna spend my time with my girls, he offer to accompany me. There he was with my girl friends talking and cracked jokes and i just look from far how well he mingling around with my friends. We partying at the 1st club he brought me last time and my hands started shivering though i was warm enough....... he jumped and told my friends...........i felt shy as if i did something wrong. My friends smile at me and wanted our photo to be captured together.....The wheather never seemed to me so beautiful as i felt that Nite. After spending time with my girls we went out to my favourite place. We both were sitting closely..... I wanted to say You are what I never knew I always wanted....but....i kept it save in me till now. And i can feel the aura of him also wanted to tell the same thing. We were enjoying our ‘Shisha’ nite together. I know that very nite gonna have a beautiful ending..That was a nite i got a 1st very kiss from a guy i had been went out with for about 3 months. Later before he dropped me off at home..in the car he hold my hand tightly. Playing with my lil fingers..and i look closely at him. Our eyes been looked together. He asked me suddenly " What is going on between us". I became confused ......I smiled and didn’t gave any replied. He asked me once again..but different kind of question this time..’would u be my Girl?’ but i stayed silent for a while..Gave him a sharp look..but i’m still thinking..i closed my eyes...All i can see are those sweet time i had spend with him and when i open my eyes his eyes is still on me..wide open. Waiting eagerly for my answer. And there goes a YES from me!! When i said yes..i donno its a Difinetely a Yes to consider him part of my life or otherwise. I'm not really sure. And he felt really glad. I couldnt sleep that night..........! I was CARAZY in love! And so we are in LOVE......:)

After 2 months i felt something wrong berween us but he persuade me to not just give up..he gained my love back like we used to hold on when we 1st met. Time passed by and its been 6 months we are together and we figure out that something is wrong somewhere. His been silent for a week and so do i as if our chemistry starting to lose. Deep in my heart i knew the time will come. It was dark all around ...and i received a SMS from him.... He said that nothing left from him to me..I felt emptiness. The heart and love are slowly faded. All our hopes were shattered. That nite at my room i cried a lot. I felt as if i am worthless.............not good for anything. Every time i used to open my MSN account i could see him. So i thought i wanna delete him so that i can forget him. But i didn't. He used to message me and i used to replied. I always felt nice whenever he used to send me a message.

He called me on my 24th birthday but i wasn’t answered. Not cos i didn’t want to..it’s because i was praying that time.. and I received his wishes on SMS. I again started thinking about him.. Now it’s officially been 3 months we are not attached. I always welcome him as my friend but as far as i’m concern he putting me back as a stranger instead. I was hoping it’s not gonna be an absolutely goodbye from him..The most eloquent silence.........where only love existed. Whenever i think about how we started at the very beginning of our friendship it will make me fallin in love with him back even though its not gonna happen. Too bad..i guess he is my fate that at the end turn out to be my destiny. It is time for me to be back to reality world..forget the past, enjoy present and plan for the future:)

Sua Rasa TV9 EDISI RAMADAN at Klang;)

yeah! I'm back at Sua Rasa TV9. Been there for couples of time since i got into TV9. Well, basically Sua Rasa is one of our groud events for our beloved viewers. Its one of TV9 CSR initiative where we bring whats on air LIVE to you all on ground. There was our very own TV personalities, casts and of course TV9 staffs gather 2gether and make it such a happening events just for our audience. With support of our main sponsor, Celcom and we welcome other vendors to be part of Sua Rasa, what can i say, It is such a GOOD and INTERESTING event from us, TV9 to you guys out there:)

Sua Rasa Brought to you by Celcom Blue

This time its lil bit different cos usually the event will starts in da morning and end up at nite. But at Kampung Sungai Pinang,Klang, its started at 3pm and end up at 3 in the morning. Its bcos this Sua Rasa happen in the holy month of Ramadan:) Well, i feel that life gets lil bit mellow and the celebration wasn't so happening like usually. Of course lah..cos its Ramadan month! lets get rooted yaw!~The schedules been changed to more islamic activities such as Berbuka puasa with local people including the orphans, Solat terakwih and Qiamulai. And i can see that lots of vendors sells 'Kuih Raya'..i'm soo gonna but KUIH TAT and BAHULU! :) And yeah... the place and food was the BOMB! The main dishes been served such as 'bubur lambuk' sponsored by Celcom and 'kambing panggang' to be cater to 300 people for buka puasa:) I bought 3kg of FRESH Mango for RM10!!! i got round 15 mangoes all together! and i gave 5 to my interns, Ina as part of my thankfulness to her for her time to accompany me to Sua Rasa or else i'll be driving alone to Klang^_^ hehe. Bur she's pretty cool, braught along her sister to actually feel our on ground events;) well..i'm more than happy=)

Lets check out some photos..

The BD & Brand Team- Shirin, Me, Rona;)

Kambing Panggang...YuMmyy!!


Ceplos in action..'orait Ok!'

TV9 Notebook Design

Its been so freaking long time i left all my graphic design works. Now I'm back to my old same route where i welcome freelance graphic design works. As for now i came out with TV9 notebook design. I completed 5 designs and now need u guys to help me choose for the FINAL ones;)

Check this out!

- Design 1 - - Design 2-


- Design 3- - Design 4-



- Design 5-

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